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New Superbug STI Causes Blindness On The West Coast!

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The LA Times is reporting that there is currently new syphilis outbreak, primarily among gay men, causing blindness from Seattle to San Francisco, and now outbreaks in Los Angeles. Read more…

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Sex Addiction On The Rise In The Gay Community!

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Sex and sexuality are apart of life, and they have been since the beginning of time. It's something we naturally grow into, and plays a small part of separating the boys from grown men, with adult needs.

Men have a higher sex drive than their female counterparts, due to the testosterone levels in our system. And when you bring two men who are sexually attracted to each other-together, it has the possibility to create an explosive outcome. Sex is good in all forms, whether it be for leisure  or with someone you love; it can provide hours of fun, pleasure, help tone muscle, and burn a couple calories, but when is too much sex a problem? Don't worry Gay Star News has tackled this topic:

Gay men have a fairly well-deserved reputation for generally being pre-occupied with sex. While saunas, sex-on-premises venues and sex parties are still the go-to option for many guys looking for a sexual release, the rapid growth of location-based dating apps such as Grindr have, for some guys, elevated the search for sex to a 24-7 occupation.

For some people, a constant need for sex can become a compulsion, an all-consuming obsession that health professionals describe as a ‘sex addiction’.





Having emerged in the US in the mid-1970s, the concept of ‘sex addiction’ as a treatable behavior disorder is a relatively new phenomenon is psychiatric terms, and has only been recently recognized by the World Health Organization and the American Psychiatric Association as a treatable condition.

Like many other addictions, it is when the behaviors that the addiction is driving start to take precedence over work, friendships, relationships or health that it becomes apparent that you have a problem.




I spoke with Nicholas Rose, a counselor who specializes in working with gay men and same-sex couples, about how to identify the signs of a potential sex addiction.

‘It generally comes down to feelings of control and balance,' he said. 'If you are feeling that your need for sex is impacting the other key areas of your life, you will start to feel a lack of control.

‘With my clients, I use an easy self-assessment test that quickly gives an indication of how aware they are of the impact of their behavior, and questions some of the assumptions and opinions that might be driving any compulsive behavior:


 

  • How much sex do you have?
  • How much sex do you think other people have?
  • Write a list of things in your life that are important to you and rank them in order of priority. Where does sex fit on this list?
  • What is sex is for you? How does that compare to what sex is for others?
  • How happy (on a scale of 1-10) are you about the sex that you have?
  • How happy (on a scale of 1-10) do you think your sexual partners are about the sex that you have together?
  • Thinking about the core pillars of your life (health; home life; relationships; occupation; spirituality), does your sexual behavior support or is it detrimental to any of these key pillars?’
  • What’s useful about a self-assessment test such as that used by Rose, is that it can also put into context unfounded concerns (having completed the assessment I’m pretty clear that I am not having enough sex). But it is undeniable that technology is making it easier for gay men to find sex wherever they are and whenever they feel so inclined.

Joel Simkhai, founder of Grindr, is unapologetic about the impact that location-based dating has had on the approach of gay men to dating and sex.

‘It has changed things – at the most basic level it’s made it so much easier,' he said. 'You can meet someone in five to 10 minutes, which is really what I was after. The power of Grindr is that it is faster, fun, the expectations aren’t as high, and the responsibility isn’t as high.'

But why does a vigorous sex life develop into compulsive and addictive behavior for some gay men?

‘There are a range of possible factors’, believes counselor Nicholas Rose, ‘in my work with clients who are struggling with a sex addiction there generally seems to be some sort of underlying problem or issue that is manifesting in the addictive behavior. But the key thing is that the behavior is recognized as destructive and that they choose to take action to address this.'

One growing trend that could be exacerbating the problems for sex addiction among gay men is the rising use of ‘chems’ (drugs such as GBH or Crystal Meth) to enhance sex. Specialist health services such as London Friend’s Antidote (who specialize in treating drug and alcohol issues in the LGBT community) are reporting that increasing numbers of gay men are presenting with physical addictions to chems. It’s easy to understand how a mild sexual compulsion could easily spiral out of control when also fueled by a physical addiction.

The normalization of constantly searching for casual sex can also play a role, and further expose someone who is at a vulnerable point in their life to the potential of developing a damaging addiction. I was at a dinner party in Stockwell in South London recently, it wasn’t long before everyone had pulled out their phones and were checking out the gay neighbors.





Counselor Nicholas Rose quotes existential philosophy to illustrate the point: ‘If there is evidence that everyone else is doing it, then we are less likely to be aware or concerned about our own behavior – Sartre describes this as acting in bad faith, adopting false values and suppressing their innate authenticity due to the pressures of societal forces.’

So if you, or someone you know, is possibly suffering from a sex addiction, what are the steps that can be taken to get the behavior back under control? Rose advises the following:

  • Ensure that you are safe – physically and sexually;
  • Develop a plan of what behaviors you want to change and the steps that you need to take to do this;
  • Identify the barriers to making the changes you need – what might trigger you not to change and how do you work through that.

I pushed Rose to give me some practical examples: ‘One important step in getting your behavior back under control could be to avoid going to your local sauna on a Friday night. What are the triggers that may make you want to go to the sauna, what other activities could you engage in instead of going to the sauna – you need to find a way to replace the behavior associated with the addiction.’

With the growing acceptance of sex addiction as a damaging condition that can be treated, there are an increasing range of support services available – but obviously the first step is for the addict to recognize that they have a problem and seek help.

The question therefore isn’t whether or not you are having too much sex, it’s how that sex is making you feel. Take the test and see what it tells you – it could be time to take up a new hobby.

 

Sex addiction is real in this city. I suspect that most of my friends probably have some form of addiction to sex. One friend in particular would hook up with a different dude every other day of the week. Nevermind the fact that he is was diagnose with HIV back in August yet he still admit to not using protection when he is having sex. Unfortunately I meet a lot of men like him in ATL, which is part of the reason why I don't have casual sex like I used to. 

Anyway, I thought this article was a good read. Do you agree with some of the points in the article? Do you think it was a fair assessment?

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Isaac Don Burks Might Not Be A Saint..

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When I read this story, something my spirit told me it was too good to be true. Thanks to Alex (of Black Wrestling Network), my suspicious were right on. The whole story was a hoax!

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Stephawn Gave Me HIV: A Virgin’s Story!

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I want my starz to read this story in it's entirety and comment below! 

 

I met Stephawn, (Real Name: Isaac Burks – Isaac Don Burks), when I was 19 years old. I had just moved to Atlanta from North Carolina to attend Clark Atlanta University. At 19, I was still trying to figure out my sexual orientation. I was still a virgin, because I was raised with traditional values. I was attracted to females, but I was also attracted to men. In fact, my attraction to men was stronger. I desperately tried to fight my attraction to the same sex, because I knew if I gave in that would mean a lifetime as an outcast in my family.

 

You see, my father was a pastor and my mother was a physician. I came from a very stable background, and my parents were heavily into the church. They controlled everything in my life. They financed my education, sent me money every month, and paid virtually every bill that I had. They wanted to see me succeed in life, and I didn't want to disappoint them.

When I moved to Atlanta I met other gay men who were more comfortable with their sexual orientation. I pulled strength from these men, and bonded with them immediately. They taught me that it was ok to be gay, and that life was too short to live my life for others. Over the next few months my circle started to consist of nothing but gay men. I felt comfortable. I felt that I could express myself without judgement, and…. for the first time ever I felt accepted. As time passed by, I started coming out of the closet a little more each day. At first, I would never attend a gay club because of fear of being outed. My friends eventually talked me into attending a gay club for the first time. I was nervous! You see, I had a sister who attended Spelman College and four other male cousins who attended Clark. The last thing I needed was my family to find out my sexual orientation. That would mean the possibility of my parents cutting me completely off, and they were the ones paying for my tuition, books, and college expenses.

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Poly-amorous Relationships In The Gay Community!

Backstory of the video:

 

One of the biggest obstacles we face as gay men is infidelity. Let’s be honest with ourselves; GAY MEN CHEAT. I think it’s the natural testosterone combined with our mastery of the anonymous hookup.  50% of being gay is who we fuck. The word is homoSEXUAL and we take the SEXUAL part very seriously among gay men.

Having faced my own challenges in relationships (including those that come along with relationships lasting 2+ years) I’m always interested in how other couples or relationships develop and overcome these obstacles.

One concept I had become acquainted with and curious about was the polyamourus relationship: Multiple partners in a closed relationship.

Imagine when you hit that 2-year mark and your bf says “Hey babe let’s have a threesome!” (We’ve all been there) but, that threesome lasts a week then, a month, then six months until you move the guy in…

That’s exactly what this Chelsea trio has done something pretty similar to that (I’m not sure of the origins of their relationship)

This definitely isn’t normal. More people seem ok with the idea of a threesome for sex and nothing else. However, this non-traditional view does circumvent issues of infidelity and allows for multiple emotional connections to be shared and nurtured in a committed way.

 

Shout out to Angel Cruz for the video and info!

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