Ask Luckey: Is It Okay To Out Your Lover In The Workplace?

Dear Luckey,

I have a friend who was in a relationship with a closeted gay man. He recently outed
him to his friends at work, and it was too messy for words. I asked him why he did it, especially seeing that even though they were in a closeted relationship, the dude was very faithful.

He told me that he saw a moment and everyone needed to know. I kinda saw this coming, and personally, I think it could’ve been handled another way. The man who was outed is also my co-worker, and he is really hurt by all that’s happened. Do you think it’s okay to out someone? Also, how do you feel about openly gay men dating those on the DL.



Dear Nick,

I have to say that when I read your letter I had to go and take a smoke break. I am going to tell you this right now. You need to leave this friend alone because he ain’t shit. If he would hurt his man for no damn reason, imagine what shit he might pull with you. Watch that bitch closely.

First off, I don’t really think it’s a good idea to date or mess around with someone who is on the DL. It just never ends well on both sides but I get the reason why so many men (and women), who are open about their own sexuality are attracted to people who are unavailable. I still don’t agree with it though. I just think it’s better to find someone who is on your level. Most DL men will never acknowledge you or respect you in public or around people who matter. Unless you don’t mind being a shadow, I just don’t think that’s no way to live and be loved. On the flip side, DL men are always going to be paranoid or pressured to act a certain way in a relationship with someone who is not DL and that ain’t cute either. It rarely ends well.

What your friend did was selfish and dead wrong. This is just my personal opinion based on my own wisdom and experience. Those people at work are NOT your friends. You don’t take your home life to work. His reasoning for outing his lover was for attention and attention only. He wasn’t thinking about the possible backlash or the risk of them both losing their jobs (Yes they still fire us for being gay). He didn’t even bother to take his lover’s feelings into consideration. I think that shit is lame and it made me mad. If that faithful man decides to end the relationship I think your friend deserves it.

It just not RIGHT. If you want to acknowledge the relationship at work or to the world, FIND YOU A MAN WHO IS NOT ON THE DL….

Just my two cents..


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