Ask Luckey: The Messy & The Lonely…

Hello Luckey,

I’ve been an avid follower of your blog for years. Never before have I thought I’d write to you until I read your post about being with a narcissist. Your words in that piece so echoed what I experienced in my own life. So…two years ago I was in a relationship with my ex-boyfriend. From the beginning, our relationship was doomed to fail. There were always arguments about our inability to communicate to the typical trust issues. Later on, I would discover that the reason for my ex always bringing up reasons to argue was his always messy ass friends. His friends always had a reason to NOT like me. They would always bring up false rumors & fill my ex-boyfriend with little lies of deception. Now in the present, after talking with a friend of mine’s, I discovered he is going through the exact same thing I went through with my ex. So in your opinion, why is it that the friends of all gay guys(either straight females or gay males) always have a vendetta on ruining a budding relationship? Can’t wait to hear from you,

90s nerd

Dear 90sNerd,

Hey man! Thanks for sending me a message. Hopefully, this won’t be the last time.

It’s so funny you mentioned my “Narcissist” post. It took me a while for me to bring that topic to this blog because I wasn’t sure how well people will take to it. I have dealt with my fair share of “narc heads” in my life and I can tell you some stories. I read your letter and I can relate on both ends. I was that lover, who friends didn’t want to be happy for me having a good man and I have also been that friend who just didn’t want to like my friend’s significant other.

I am not sure if your ex-boo was a narcissist but let’s say he was. The narcissist sole goal is to steal whatever source of supply they can get from you and ultimately destroy you (devalue and discard you). If you started questioning them or asking people close to them too many questions, they will create a smear campaign against you and their “flying monkeys” (ei family, friends, ex lovers, side dudes/chicks, co-workers,) will believe them because just like you, they are under the narc’s spell and have manipulated to believe the narcs’ lies. He probably told them a bunch of lies and they believed it and didn’t want to like you. I have been that clueless friend…LOL.

On the other end, your ex lover’s friends could have been narcs and were trying to destroy your relationship with you man. I need to know what exactly was said and what was really going on in the relationship to determine exactly what was going on.

Either way it’s not a good environment for a relationship and maybe that wasn’t the type of relationship you needed to be in so consider yourself lucky that you got out of that mess.

Your TRUE friends are supposed to support you even if they may not agree or care for the man you chooses to be with. Of course they will have your back regardless but only should get involved if you are being abused and as you know Narcs are extremely abusive. They wouldn’t try to break you guys up or come between you to. Unfortunately this shit happens all the time. Your best bet is to drop the dead weight.

Thats just my take on the matter..


ps the gif had nothing to do with this post. I just thought it was so got damn funny! Gotta love MARTIN!!


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